April 16, 2009

Family and Space

Have you ever wondered why we ask for space?

We need personal space, we need emotional space and we need spiritual space. As i approached this week I was in need of all three - It has been a long and pretty crappy weekend, between the kids driving us up a wall, the washing machine breaking and the laundry stacking up, A holiday with a family who is learning to deal w ith one another again and being away from my own family again during a holiday. Troy and I are both sick, and dealing with coughing, sniffling etc.

Sure it was nice to see the family we did see in some strange broken up way. I tried my best to make it better for all, for the kids, for the families involved. It was hard but I am sure my boys did not understand all the family dynamics. But if this continues, it is going to get harder and harder to explain. So back to what we needed.

We just needed a break from it all. Sure that sounds great right? Yeah but when you are handed a weekend like that, and on top of it all there is a school vacation to follow. I hate to say that Troy can escape it, but he can, he goes to work and escapes the children and all their crud. As i woke up on Monday morning I wanted to selfish, I wanted the day to be all about me! Why not right, it is my birthday right?

Well as a parent, a mother, a caregiver - this is not an option and it is not something I want to teach my boys, but deep within I wanted to sleep till 12noon and have a nice dinner made for me, the kids making beautiful birthday cards and picking flowers for me. YEAH RIGHT! Selfish has been thrown out the window, because I became a parent and a mother. So I can not longer be selfish, right?

Well with my hubby in control, I made NOTHING for dinner, and when he came home, he suggested that we go out as a family for dinner. So off to friendlys we go - it is fast and good food - keeps the kids occupied and gives me the day off from cooking and cleaning dishes. In all it was nice to go out, and even better knowing that Troy and I will be going out to dinner alone on Saturday night. Ahhhhhh

So asking for space, i was in total need of space, and Wednesday morning i was able to sleep in because my hubby stayed home from work to give me a break during the school break. It was a nice day filled with much to do outside even a picnic lunch for us and the kids being kids! Mud - dirt and all. It was rewarding to see what we as a team can accomplish together.

Tomorrow Thursday i am dropping one at school and taking the other one on a date to the UCONN Co-Op. Should be nice to spend time with him alone.

April 15, 2009

I keep praying



So here I am just a few days past Easter - Praise Him for what he has done for us! I am not sure if I wrote about Good Friday service, but I have to say it was AMAZING, I really was given a change to be alone with the words of the lord and with the words that brought us up to the death of Jesus Christ. I have never left church feeling so emotionally drained, but in a good way. It was an amazingly beautiful service, and I want to thank the members of SPCC who were about to share their visions.

So I keep praying, I am praying for my friends, my family, my church, the government and most of the people of this world. I am praying for the future of my children and their children. But most of all I al praying for myself. This past five months have been some of the best and worst times for me in my adult life. I have been on an emotional roller coaster. Not sure completly why but I have a laundry list of manythings I can pin point.

Today I am praying for a postion with an amazing non-profit and hopeing this is what I am being called to do. I hope it is cause I am in love with this place, what they do and the people who work there.

April 14, 2009

Good Friday

Good friday was an amazing experience for me - It was so great to see an artistic and visual account of the last day and minutes of Jesus on the Cross over 2000 years ago. Between readings, music and a visualy building of a cross in front of me, I can say that I was blessed to witness it and encounted the lord in such a way.

I went in unaware of what the service would offer me and left with a sense of being cleaned of all my sins. Plenty of Sins were up lifted to Jesus that night! I layed it out for him, as if I had to? I just wanted to give it all to him and thank him for dying on the cross so that I could be cleaned of all my sins over and over again.

I must say that SPCC is doing amazing things in our lives - just tonight out four year old was drawing and he drew a cross, and explained how it was the corss of Jesus! "Good job Dylan, we said" then he went on to tell us how he died on the cross, and we asked "the that happened? he told us that he came to life again for us all! WOW - this just means that it is being learned, it is working, this little mind is absorbing the word of God - he gets it! And that is AWESOME!

April 10, 2009

choosing not to walk on good friday

since it is now 2:30 am and I have been sick for quite a few days I am not walking the good friday walk! I am sad about this but at the same time I need to do what is best for my and my health. And walking in 40 degree col first thing in the morning is not what will continue to make me better! But of course neither will staying up till 2:30?*&(,/

So now I go to sleep and figure out more amazing things to do with my boys as we enter into 10 days straight home together. I am sure it will be fine and we will create fun, but the thought of it is making me ill!

So tomorrow I choose not to walk the 20 miles, but I will be attending church services and I will take time out with my boys to remember why it is called "Good Friday" and not "Really bad Friday!"

Now If I could only remember the last of the ABC's? Ben?

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AMAZING THINGS HAPPENING AT SPCC....


Tonight was AMAZING
and this is what I wrote to the members of SPCC who helped make it so:

"I would like to thank you all for an AMAZING NIGHT ~ You all did a great job and it was a pleasure to share it with you and our boys. I can see that they love you deeply and respect you as well. This mean so much to us.

I have to share that tonight was not lost on them, as they explained the turn of events to their father when they got home.
Dylan told his dad and I quote " we washed each others feet like
the disciples did" - amazing use of words for a just 4 year old. He was thrilled to share his night with dad.

Now Trevor was great with his details of the night and really enjoyed telling all about the passover set up and the communion and how he got to eat bread and "wine".

I loved every minute and I know that KIDMO is the best thing for us as a family. Blessings on you all as we approach a beautiful weekend of prayers and family.
Jennifer (troy, trevor and dylan)"

here is a link to some photos and a story from our pastor about tonight!







April 7, 2009

Little things - Stop Look and Listen

So today is yet another normal Tuesday full of many chores and trying to get stuff done while I am without any children. Running to the DMV, Grocery Store, library, Post office, Bank and Dropping off items to friends, pharmacy all between 9:30 and 11:45! So I rushed around, but in all of that I was stopped in my tracks outside the library. As I walked in I noticed that the sidewalk worms and slugs all washed up after the night rain. Pretty normal right? Well on my way out I decided to stop and check out the slug! Weird right? Well not for me I have boys! OK not right this second, but in general I have them and we normally stop and look at the bugs & ughs!

I was really into the cool slug with its long black body moving across the sidewalk toward the dirt under the bushes. So there I was looking at this ugh on the ground and a few people were entering the library and stoped to ask if I was OK! Oh Me? Sure I was fine, I replied and offered to them to look at the slug. Three people stopped and looked at the small slug on the sidewalk, in the middle of their somewhat hectic lives. It was kind cool to observe this ugh on the ground. It Antonie moving too and fro sensing the air around it! How could this small creature stop four grown women in their tracks? I just did not know the answer, but I loved the outcome.


Once I got back into my car I was reminded of last Monday when Dylan and I went to Trevors school to pick up some scouts stuff, how the two of us were on our way back to our car, and we decided to "SAVE THE WORMS" we picked up many worms and threw them into the grass, again another creature who was washed up on the sidewalk due to a spring rain shower. It was just a moment I could have never reproduced if I tried, It was just a perfect moment in time between Dylan and I!

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April 5, 2009

GOOD FRIDAY - Breathing Deep

After feeling pretty down last week, I have started to get myself back on the high of following my road to the lord. Even though I have fallen short of being physically fit (for me) for the Good Friday walk, I am gearing up to walk as much as I can. Last year I did 13 miles, the year before I did 11 - but this year I WANT to finish. There is No time limit, but there is limitations to how much I can suffer. By mile 9 you are feeling pretty good like you can go on forever, then you walk through the center of Ellington toward the tobacco fields, and then you go to a rest stop, feeling pretty good still, then the fields - pure WIND toward your face burning it as you walk into the wind. Cold or not it always seems to be stinging! Then you make it to the check in point and Lunch!

Can I tell you that the peanut butter and jelly sandwich you get at the lunch stop is the MOST AMAZING sandwich you will ever encounter? Really it was such pleasure. Then after a bit of a warm up and full belly you continue down to the fields again! With the burning wind, and the next stop is where I stopped last year. But this year I want to feel the pain and pleasure of walking up the last hill toward Rockville United Methodist Church, walk past the center of Rockville - This is another milestone I want to accomplish.

I want to finish the 20 mile walk - that my husband has finished so many years, that my nieces have also have finished. It is my turn to feel the amazing feeling of walking 20 miles! Jesus Walked on Good Friday - and so will I! Please let me know if you would like to pledge $1.00 per mile accomplished! And I look forward to a very (first) truly spiritual Holy Week. Palm Sunday, Wednesday, Thursday Good Friday, Easter Sunday and Easter Monday (by 35th BDay)!

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Busy Week - even the dog is tired!

This has been a very busy week - Scouts on Monday night where Trevor and his Den were given their Wolf Badge that they have been working toward all year. We are getting ready for our second Pinewood Derby, which should be interesting. Trevor's car is a little different than last years, but still should be a good strong car.
This year I am going to try and run a race myself, with a car I have been told is not all my making, but that is Troy against me.


When I get the photos up loaded I will post them after the race, no need to show the competition what OUR cars look like! post more tomorrow night!


The week was pretty normal besides me feeling totally under the weather, but we moved on and got plenty accomplished. I cleaned and cleaned and cleaned even more of my office space. Troy was totally impressed. In fact so were the kids! And they notice next to NOTHING.


I painted more on the Bible Walk through backdrops of Noah's Ark, Moses in the reeds and Jonah and the Big Fish....Have less than a month to accomplish those, I will get the finished....I know I have too!

Yesterday Saturday Troy worked, so I got dressed early and dragged the boys out the CES PTO Easter egg hunt. It was cold at 9:25 am, but the boys did great and each came home with a bag of candy and empty egg shells. Ok really they came home with empty egg shells, cause the candy was consumed in the 10 minute ride from the school to home, and the wrappers where left on the floor of the van. In all they had fun and it was good to see their school friends beyond the classroom.
As you can see by the photo even the dog is tired, cause beyond the Egg hunt, they boys played hard and then had their Grammy come over and the four of us went to the EastBrook S-Mall to see the Easter Bunny. They LOVED that, and I was able to get a shot of them with this 6 foot tall white funny dressed up person. Dylan was in heaven with the bunny and Trevor tells me "I know that is a person, but I wont tell Dylan" What a kind older brother.
That was one of the few very sweet moments that they share. While there we invested into another pair of tennis shoes. Seems that
Trevor is burning through them as fast as he eats food. The new ones are a 4.5 and he is only 7! He wears 10/12 pants and 12/14 shirt. I am not sure I will be able to keep him well fed as a preteen! UGH
more....

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April 2, 2009

ever need a vacation?


I think I am in need of a vacation - time with out my children. Sure I love them Sure they are pretty much my life, but there lays the problem, they are my life. When was it said that I was supposed to make them come first? Now sure but I think I need time for ME, time to sit and reflect on my relationships. The one with God and the one with myself. I need to step back and see how my relationship with my husband is working and then the kids. I believe that I have to remind myself that I am second in the order of care! GOD, ME, Husband and the children, the rest comes after that- ie house and other family.
But why do we as mothers feel the need to put our children's need before our own?This is why so many of us are stressed out, over tired, and pretty much sick all the time.I have been healthy this winter so having this cold really beats all! I am tired, sick and just want to curl up and sleep, but being a mother that is not an option.
So for now I will continue to read Mark, sip my tea and start up the mini van for a whirl wind tour of Mansfield and Windham - as I continue my duties to my children and regroup later for my own personal duties to GOD!